Live

The exacting and oft distracting realization of unforeseen necessity that stands next to me, and not in front, begs the question, and with external suggestion,"What is essential to exist?" To exist in a manner fulfilled, and utterly thrilled, by the excitement of discontent? Or is it uncovering the simple pleasures and the complex treasures of a strange, an unknown; an unforeseen variable in the Grand Scheme? I prefer the latter because a perception too focused and concerned with a philistine locus muddles the surroundings to a gray. It would be appropo to say... the colors were given away until there was a day I stepped back into the technicolor world to see the sun and admire the ocean. At which point I embraced the notion once more of enjoying the commotion while understanding all is, and will be, right with devotion. This is not a love potion... this is life. At last check, I was only given one to live, and that is exactly what I shall do.

Wayward Moon

Months have passed
And still no moon for my night
Though I understand
For though lustrous
The moon is jealous of me
His wish is for an ocean
An ocean like mine
His ocean is beautiful and blue
Much like mine; yet more inviting
His ocean is soothing indeed
Incomparable to the calm and grace of mine.
He boasts a loyal tide
A follower to his travel
If only I could share the notion
Of a tide that rolls by choice,
Never obligation.
He knows so,
Everything so; about his beloved ocean
Her abyss
Her treasures
Life
Oh, how I pity
For he cannot enjoy discovery
Quite as I can
Of your ocean, dear Moon
I am insignificant,
She slips through my fingers
And her touch is cold
I understand the jealousy
My friend.
I would be jealous, too.

Impressive

There is a great deal that I do not know about this world. Of its workings, its reasoning or purpose. Yet of those things that i do not know, I know much less about the beings that run the earth on two feet. I do not know how such beings for all their glory of their inventive nature can create the Sistine chapel in so few years, how the declaration of independence can produce such an eloquent dismissal of obtrusive rule and how such beings can begin to love in such unconditional nature of another with which they share no bloodline.

I do not understand the integration by the masses to form communities and live amongst those they do not know. I have trouble grasping the passivity and restlessness that persists in thriving metropolises without insanity. By all accounts I deem such impossible.

The gamut of the human mind fascinates me, yet for as much as I am in awe for its creativity, its ingenuity and passion. I am equally, if not yet to find more so, terrified of it.

What it is that perturbs me, and thereby leads me into a state of confusion that comes from the brutality we beings inflict upon one another. I struggle whether to be impressed by the expanse of the collective beings emotion- to restrain, withhold and suppress a group or individual; and yet, how they hold another in such divine light.

Frightened by the delusion, and still impressed by the scope of it all.

Trust

In life, there are things that we must do, against opposition and through the trials of life, simply and completely, not for the sake of what is thought to be the right thing to do by the masses, but because it is the right thing for us to do. Because we are conscious and self-reliant individuals. The opinions, no matter how astute or profound will seem obtuse and profane if the intended outcome is not found. At least in the possibility of not succeeding by taking action in the sole interest of oneself there is a solace in what remains of the situation-the peace of mind to know that when a decision was made it was made for the right reason. A reason that may not be understood by many, if anyone; a decision nonetheless dignified by it's chooser.

Though the adage, "Two minds are better than one" is a true statement. There are times and places for such. In no circumstance can one consider such to be the case of emotions. Because a heart does not ask for understanding there can be no true sympathy from a third point of view. To make such a mistake is nothing short of a mistrust in one's own heart and mind. For, to not trust one's heart or mind will leave questions without answers, and chaos in silence.

Trust your heart it is the source of true happiness.

Life

The hardest, most engulfing thing to persist in our existence. At the same time, this existence of life holds no clinical definition other than that, by the physical means, to breathe and to move without first cause, whereas, our actions are not physically influenced by those around us.

Secondly, our "life" in the metaphysical definition becomes hazy, because we cannot decide how it is to play out. We as beings, are given the opportunity, and fortune, to emote. To dream, to cry, to aspire, to enjoy, to be sad and most importantly to love.

Little do we know, this is part of the canvas of our lives that gives it worth. We can paint the most beautiful picture that the world has ever seen, with bright vivid colors that have been carefully selected. Lain upon the canvas with precise care and stay guided by the lines we chose to follow. But no matter how vivid the colors, there is no depth, no value, no texture to our lives without shadows to accompany those cherished vivid colors we had originally picked. Because for our lives to be full, must know the range of proverbial colors, from the brightest yellow that challenges the sun for supremacy, to the darkest violet that remains darker than the deepest abyss in our oceans. This spectrum, our life of colors or experiences rather, gives validity that our "life" was not lived in vanity. In and of itself, the choice to paint with these dark colors is for the personal greater good of the life to which one aspires.

In this variance we call life; we must make decisions for ourselves, first, then for the sake of other second. Living in the sacrifice of freedom for another's happiness will serve no greater good, than one who has chosen to neglect the other's happiness altogether. For, in the end, sacrifice that is falsified for the sake of the other will only eat at the grain of one's soul, and build into regret, and vengefulness for the one whom they have originally sacrificed, because they do not appreciate the good will.
Conversely, only you can decide what you can live with and what you can truly not live with. It is a hard, trivial, road to walk, because often times you are the only one to benefit from the choice. If however you are blessed with someone who supports and gives care for the weary of the choices you make, hold on to them because they will be your greatest ally for the "good life" that you seek.

Step by Step

Over the course of these last months a great deal has happened. Many things known to be true have be proven wrong in one way or another and a general vantage point has become far more monochromatic than what it has ever previously been. Though it is understandable that once removed from the proverbial cave to experience a vastly difference environment that being the same again is not quite attainable. "Quite" may very well be the understatement of the decade in a 22 year existence, yet, within this new horizon there is a hope that what has been seen is only a glimpse of the what there is in it's entirety. Then again there is the wonton notion that such is only the beginning to an adverse shock yet to be fully realized. Marked as nothing larger than a challenge that can be overcome, each step and each day will bring a new perspective with which to assess the progress.
Godspeed.

Quandry

It is amazing, and utterly disappointing, to discover an amazing love, and to live without it. And with the double bladed sword, which do I slit the wrist with? The side that leaves me in my own company, or within the company of another; wasting their time. Utilitarian or a moralistic approach. Do I side with Sarte, or Kant on this?

Coming Soon

Very soon.